I’m gonna love me again

The voice inside my head is the one I hear….

Over the course of the week I have shared some personal stories and thoughts around mental health and yesterday hosted a video call with a number of colleagues from the Leeds office (thankfully only 20 showed on my screen so I can pretend the rest weren’t there!). The world we currently live in is a strange place and it is so easy for us to be critical of ourselves and of others without truly knowing the circumstances. 

I suspect everyone at the moment has elements of anxiety and guilt towards something. A job. A family member. Missing an exercise class online. I feel it must be embedded in our DNA that we respond in this way – but is there anything wrong with that. 

So across the day I pretty much encounter a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute casually progressing a plan for the day with the children. A small amount of work (the days of having a full day of learning in place died very early on!) and lots of creativity. The next tears because your child is suffering the same rollercoaster and therefore won’t take his pyjamas off for a walk. Sadness and frustration are rife each day. But so are smiles and laughter – an inner voice makes you focus on the 5 minutes of negative rather than the positive. We must accept that now more than ever we cannot control situations and our children as well as ourselves are going through this journey. 

So to be a little bit negative though I do feel some want guilty about the following but am trying to focus on the positives that have arised as a result: 

  • Not giving 100% to the day job but very thankful that I work for an employer who is fully supportive of that and a bunch of clients who largely understand as well. 
  • Not giving 100% to my children. I’m not a teacher I’ve learnt and I’m very impatient – however if you ask them they’ll speak so positively of my ability to help paint planets or create a game where the floor is lava. So I must be doing something right. 
  • Not giving 100% to my family and friends. Oddly I’ve spoken to some recently more than I have done in a while. And family games over video calls is actually quite fun (provided you all have the same games). Could this trigger a stronger connection between them all. 

The voice inside your head – whether that be sadness, fear, guilt or even jealousy – can take over. I find positivity can help extinguish or at least diminish these. Talking helps to share the thoughts but even if you just write down what you’re feeling to allow you to process them then it goes a long way to helping.

So my continued take away in life is to love yourself for what you are doing. You don’t realise it but you are taking daily steps towards a better you. You just don’t realise or acknowledge and focus on the negative. Find a way in your life to focus on the positives and if that is difficult then find the time to talk to someone who can help you. 

Singing, I’m gonna love me again

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek #MyMindMatters #BePositive

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