I write this following dropping you back off to school. Year 5 now, how did that happen so quickly? I won’t lie – the last five months with you at home have been challenging. Challenging but enjoyable at the same time. You are now on the path towards double digits and I find myself wondering how you have grown up so fast? Where have the nine years gone? Our days vary from the absolute moments you treasure to the days where I realise why I’m perpetually stressed. The moments that make my heart melt make all the other days worth it. Maybe not in the moment but reflecting back.
The day you arrived was the happiest and scariest moment of my life. In one room your Mum, exhausted from labour, and in the corridor was you in an incubator being rushed away from me fighting for your life. It’s a feeling I hope you never have to go through. I think it has always made me over protective of you as a result of what you went through. A dramatic entrance to the world but look at you now, still dramatic but a little less hospital! All being well it hasn’t done any long term damage to you. The first week was good in the sense of for the first time in my working life I could not give a care about work. For at least the first week I sat with you for nearly 15 hours a day. Holding your hand. Talking to you – telling you about the world. No wonder you slept so much.
The first three weeks were extremely tough and exhausting. But to be fair once you came home things seemed to settle into what we expected life would be as parents. We basically became tired. I think we both were over protective of you but you quickly showed us that you were an extremely smart boy.
I’ve never thought I could be a good dad to you. Doing too much or too little – never managing to get the right balance. But despite feeling like I tell you off more than I should I remember everything good. The smile when you win at football or get man-of-the-match. Your inquisitive questions you ask at random times during the day and night. How quickly you get through a bag of prawn crackers while I’m not watching. I tell you how I’m feeling and although you don’t always agree with me you do understand why I’m asking you. The days you care always remind me of the amazing boy you are. You’ve become too old now for holding my hand but every now and again (in private) you sneak a hug and a kiss – never in public though, oh the embarrassment. I know deep down you are filled with love for me and your mum.
I will always be there to support you. To congratulate you on your school work. Come rain or shine to stand cheering you on at a football game. To listen to you telling me an imaginative story. I want only happiness for you and for you to know that deep down you are loved and cherished by both of us.
Keep being you Finley! You amaze me everyday and I have no doubt that you’ll be a success at whatever you do in the future.